i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
