she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
