You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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