Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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