The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
