The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize