Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
