just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
