so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
