Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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