at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
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My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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