If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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