so explain again why im purple
no
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
