Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
