i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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