Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
