I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
