We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
