Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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