watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
