Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
