remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
