Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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