she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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