okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
