Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
