Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
