i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
