I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
