She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
