She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize