i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
