What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
