if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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