it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
