Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
