If i come over, it means nothing
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize