At least make sure they are 18
Why
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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