Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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