I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
two words...techno handjob
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
