I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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