and you said cock pushups were impossible
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
