all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
