she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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