He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
