Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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