You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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