Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
