did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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