Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
