My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
