In the future we'll all be gay
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
