We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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