from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
