Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
