I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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