Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
