Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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