i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
