I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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