It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
