I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
