I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You don't make any sense
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