I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
